At this point in your life, if you are unaware of who Ned Flanders is you could be one of two things:
1) An infant baby, in which case you're probably abandoned in Ikea and don't matter to me
or
2) A Nazi Zombie
Although Ned began his life as a spoiled rotten brat being raised by freaky beatnik parents, his time spent being spanked by Dr. Foster for 6 months set him on a path of righteousness. Since then Ned Flanders has devoted himself to the Lord and trying to make the world he lives in a better place for everyone. Ned has two children, Rod and Todd and has been single (aside from when he and Homer married those two hookers in Vegas) since his wife, Maude, passed away from falling off a set of bleachers after being struck by a t-shirt shot from a cannon. He is the owner of "The Leftorium", a novelty shop dedicated to items designed for south paws and easily has one of the best rumpus rooms in Springfield.
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